Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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