hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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