I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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