so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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