Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
