RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My bed smells like the plague
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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