Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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