he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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