Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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