does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
