Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
