READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
