I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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