Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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