We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
