You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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