I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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