Will you blow on my dice?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
All I want is dick and wine.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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