youre lurking in front of me
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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