Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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