Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
