How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
