gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
