Don't make out with my wife yet
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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