Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
