I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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