you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
