You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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