bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
