Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nicole vs. Life
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
