Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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