is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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