first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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