I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
