New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
