Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
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Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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