I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize