I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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