You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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