ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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