I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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