Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
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I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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