East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
