I have demons in me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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