Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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