Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
