So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
