my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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