My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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