Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
her facebook's as public as her vagina
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
