I think my vagina is haunted
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
