Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize